Monday, November 22, 2010

Clarity After The Fog

The last few weeks have left me feeling absent...absent from reality, reason, and my blog. What went from a joyous family weekend transferred to terror within seconds.


It was a Saturday evening and we had just gotten home from visiting family in Chattanooga. CR's parents were staying at our place for the evening as we were to drop them off at the airport on Sunday morning. The boys were playing, chase, cars, blocks, etc... as I set the dinner table. Right as I went to cut the pizza I heard CR say "Did CR2 just fall asleep?" As he went to pick up our child he noticed that CR2's eyes were rolled into the back of his head. CR2 then proceeded to have a seizure lasting around 2 minutes. His face turned blue, he was non-responsive, and his little body was consumed with tremors. Fear doesn't even begin to describe the panic I felt.


I immediately called 911 as Poppins and CR worked to revive my child. The ambulance arrived shortly after the seizure had stopped. CR2 was very out of it and extremely clammy. We were assured by the EMT's that CR2 had just experienced a febrile seizure. These seizures may occur when a child spikes a high fever. We were instructed to go straight to the E.R. for follow up. As I took CR2 out to the ambulance I was told that I was not allowed to ride with my son due to my panic stricken demeanor. My mother in-law firmly stepped in and said "You are not taking that child without one of us in there!". She rode in the ambulance, and CR and I followed.


When we arrived CR and I parked and sprinted inside to find our son. We met up with our little guy and were placed in a room...a room we would be in for the next 4 hours. It was determined that CR2 did not in fact have a febrile seizure, he was 99.0 when checked by the EMT, and 97.4 in the E.R. We then went through a urine test (they had to insert a catheter), a blood test (CR2 proceeded to rip out his IV), and a Cat Scan to rule out any trauma to the head.







Within two hours my little guy was back to being CR2. Eating ice chips, terrorizing the exam room, and sharing kisses with all of us. All tests came back clear, we were referred to see a child neurologist for further evaluation, and we were finally cleared to go home around 11:00pm. When we arrived home we proceeded to eat the cold pizza I prepared at 6:00pm, bath the E.R. germs off of our child, and head to bead. Let's just say I jumped at every moan and blanket rustle I heard through the monitor. Grama checked in 3 times throughout the night as well.




Sunday was a day of reflection and disbelief. CR and I could not help but re-play the panic stricken event from the night before over and over in our heads. CR has dealt with anxiety for years now and had an especially rough time once the adrenaline subsided. Knowing that we had allot on our plate, CR's mom decided to forgo her vacation, and stick around to help out amidst the chaos.




I could not help but to think that the flu shot my child had 48 hours prior may have been to blame. I read horrible articles about the shot being pulled in Australia and the U.K. for children under 5 years old. I was assured by all doctors involved that the U.S. is administering a different strain, and that there has been no evidence reported by the CDC. I am still not sure I believe this, and will definitely steer clear of the flu shot for the next few years.




We were to wait until Monday morning to start scheduling our doctors appointments. I was probably on the phone for a good 2 hours getting the week ahead in order... pediatrician 15 mo. check up, Neurologist exam, changing my work schedule, etc... The whole ordeal felt like a bad dream.



CR2 was such a trooper through it all! The following Thursday we had his Pediatrician appointment...everything looked great, and we went ahead with his regularly scheduled vaccinations. We then went to Children's Neurology Associates for CR2's evaluation. They determined that CR2 had a grand mal seizure and ordered an EEG and MRI. The EEG was scheduled for the next day and we were ordered to wake CR2 at 2:00am and keep him up until his 10:00am appointment that Friday. NOT AN EASY TASK! Grama was a trooper and allowed me to sleep a little so that I would be coherent for CR2's appointment. We watched videos, looked at stars, rubbed ice on his neck, played with play dough etc... On the way to the appointment we fed him in an attempt to keep him awake. CR2 hit a second wind in the waiting room, but once it was time to attach the 20 odd probes, he LOST it. CR and I were finally able to calm him, and he fell asleep. After 30 minutes of monitoring, they brought in a strobe light and asked me to wake my child. The technician proceeded with 10 rounds of strobe flashing. Let's just say CR2 didn't like this part very much, and was extremely grumpy afterwards. Once we were home, CR2 and I went down for a nap...he did not want to sleep in his crib so we snuggled into my bed for the rest of the afternoon. We later bought CR2 a giant Elmo balloon at the grocery store to apologise!



My mom came into town on Sunday afternoon so that I could make up hours at work the following week. CR2 continued to act just fine, and we went about our week. We planned our Thanksgiving meal, went back to our daily routine, and headed to Waynesville for Thanksgiving later that week. We had a wonderful time visiting with family and celebrating the Thanksgiving holiday.



On Saturday afternoon we were in the midst of getting ready for a family portrait. I had dressed CR2 and brought him down to CR so that I could get ready. We noticed that he was feeling warm and gave him a dose of Tylenol. At his 15 month check up we were told that he may become feverish within 8-10 days after his MMR immunization. I headed to the bedroom to finish getting ready. A few minutes later CR walked into the room holding CR2 and let me know that it was happening again. We laid CR2 on my moms bed and rolled him to his side...we waited for the seizure to end and then comforted our child. I promptly called Our Neurologist for further instruction. The fever had quickly broken, and CR2 took a much needed nap. Our doctor instructed us to wait until Monday for the EEG results, and at that point medicine would be prescribed.



Well...It is Monday, the results from the EEG have come back, and all is clear. There is no sign of Epilepsy. I am patiently awaiting a call back from the Neurologist, but am not sure if an answer will be given. I am so thankful that the results are clear, but am baffled as to why this is happening.




It is in times like these that we need to look to God. I need to realize that I may not get the answer I desire. I need to find peace in knowing that I don't have to understand everything that is put on my plate. My child is acting normal, he is happy, and I know how to deal with a seizure if there are more to come. We have a great medical team, and I need to trust in their decisions.



We have an MRI scheduled for December 6th. One final check to make sure all is OK. Please pray for my little family as we proceed with testing. CR2 is such a blessing, and all I want for him is a long, healthy, and happy life.



In this season of Thanksgiving I have so much to be thankful for! I have a wonderful family, rich in love and support, and that is all I could ever ask for. A special thank you to our parents, brothers and sisters for helping us hold our heads high throughout the past couple weeks!




Love to you all!


JP

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